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THE
JOURNEY 2: I just discovered something you may already know: This file is so big, my computer system can't load all of it, so it just showed the first half. I'm cutting it into two parts so you can see all of it. |
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PART 2: THE CONTINUATION OF PART 1, STARTING AT A ROUSING TOPIC: WHATCHA' GONNA DO ABOUT EVIL? "HERE'S
TO EVIL, IT KEEPS THINGS HUMMING!" ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT EVIL... AND MORE Here's a little handbook, for you who must deal with evil. The devil. The enemy. A complete (almost) study of the beast, plus tips on handling it. A serious and not so serious walk on the dark side. Who is the enemy? What is the enemy? Where is the enemy? Oh, it's all over. Just all over. The enemy is the pull of the world. The pull of the mall. The desire to win. To excel. To be famous. Rich. Greed. Ego. "I matter so much." Hatred. Eyes who see "us" and "them". The enemy is the thousands of things we use to anesthetize ourselves, to turn away from our real task, to keep from feeling the ecstasy of existence. A thousand million diversions to keep us from our birthright. And from knowing others as they are. The enemy is within us and outside of us. I know a bit about the enemy, and I'm learning more every day. This year I've faced death, disease, cancer. Despair. I've seen and felt more pain than I knew existed. I've heard children crying in agony and terror as they clung to their parents. Despairing little voices, "Why did this happen to me?" Nice kids with terrible diseases, whose lives wouldn't have happy endings. I've hated God or whatever put us here for allowing such abomination. It was just warm-up. What I got earlier in this year was nothing compared to 1999's closing act . The pain that disease and calamity cause is nothing to the pain that one human being inflicts upon another. That's the pain of evil.
WHAT IS EVIL? Evil is defined as "wicked, harmful or injurious". My meditation teacher was asked years ago, "What is the worst thing? What is evil?" He answered, "Hurting other people. Even thinking of harming or torturing others is evil." Harming another person means invalidating the infinitely valuable essence that is the person. We all know that we are supremely valuable. We know that. We feel it inside. We know freedom is our birthright. That's why we hate bondage. That's why the slurs hurt so much: Slurs and slander based on race, ethnicity, religion, sex, sexual preference or whatever, invalidate that inner greatness. The greatest evil: People who harm others. Who put them down to look big. Who destroy their victims and don't know they did anything wrong. Who form clumps, societies, and nations and roll over others without a thought. Most folks see someone who looks like me and think we don't have to deal with any of this. Hah!
Hatred does not discriminate based on color or anything else. Hatred is everywhere, just looking for some idiot to speak through. It always finds one. The hardest thing I have ever done is to keep the idiot in me under control when one of those bozos runs over me. The hardest thing is controlling the hatred that comes pouring from me so I don't do something stupid back, something that makes things worse. *** My meditation teacher said something else about evil. He said that the second greatest evil was in not knowing the inner Self. Not making the journey inside and discovering one's true identity creates evil. Because we have not seen the inner splendor, the inner divinity, we do not know, first, that such beauty exists. We don't know how great we really are. Not knowing our true identity also means that we don't know everyone else is just like us: As divine as we are. Identical to us in spirit. Further, if one knows that inner divinity, he/she will not see anything ugly in another person. There's nothing to hate or want to harm. So making that inner journey is the most important thing to do in life. [Sw. Muktananda, "Only One Self Resides in Everyone", Darshan Magazine, Sept. '99, p. 37.] *** What do you do if you're not a meditation master? You're on a spiritual path. You have a sense the you are very valuable and so is everyone else, but you get stuck when hatred is leveled at you. You react and hurt others, or you hurt inside. You don't like how you feel when that happens and want to do something about it. What if you're like me? *** WHAT TO DO ABOUT EVIL? THE QUESTION. You can't get rid of it-- it's all over. The most efficient thing to do is get to the end of the spiritual path as fast as possible. Curiously, handling evil, dealing with evil, may be the fastest way to progress on a spiritual path . Robert Mirabal says, "Darkness will come. Give it to me so I can become stronger in the light." That is one thing evil will do for you: Make you stronger in the light. Darkness draws the light--if you look up. A friend once asked me, "Why do your spiritual experiences wake you up in the night and chase you down the hall? Why don't mine?" Well, much of it may have to do with the chemistry of my brain-- but more important is the fact that I've had to face evil, and I've done it. Nothing will point you to the light like evil. Nothing will have you reaching up and screaming for help like evil. In truth, evil is spirit's greatest helper. We know inherently that if we don't seek the light when darkness casts it's terrible shadow, we will perish. If you face darkness with a pure heart and call to the light, something else may come. Not will come-- it's totally free. Comes when and where it wants. What is it? Grace. The hand of spirit on earth. I have never felt grace so strongly as when I have been most taxed. Spirit follows me around, handling things. Guiding me. Setting up situations. Getting rid of what will harm me. If you're on the path, light will protect you. Light is everywhere, including in evil/darkness. The trick is seeing it.
BECOME A SPIRIT WARRIOR "Spirit warrior." Sounds like Carlos Casteneda. Or something from that human potential booklet I talked about. "Become a spirit warrior in an afternoon." So California. Actually, the term is a venerable one in the East and I believe in certain Native American traditions. The notion of the warrior is perfectly applied to the spiritual journey. Why? Because it is the hardest thing you'll ever do. Getting lost in the shadowlands and not finishing is almost a certainty, folks. I don't say this-- experts say it. Spiritual masters. Only the bravest make it to the end. You will need all the discipline of the mightiest general, all the strength of a centurion, and the will of the conquering army to complete your mission. Do you know what the spiritual path is about? Becoming pure. Cleaning your dirty glasses. Tearing apart the cultural, familial and personal conditioning that warps you. And me. It means facing your inner demons and eventually doing everything you are afraid to do. Think of the thing you're most afraid of. The path means facing that. And more. A complete Freudian clean out. Also Adlerian, Jungian and Transpersonal. Terribly hard. Also incredibly easy. That perfect brilliance which is our real identity calls us. It is our birthright. The strongest drive in the universe is to freedom. Authenticity. Reality. And-- we live in a sea of grace. It wants to help us. Once launched on the path, there's nothing else to do but follow it. It's easy. The experiences, people, and situations you need to progress will come to you effortlessly. You may not like them. They may not be what you think you need, but there they'll be all yours. I've been reading Leonard Peltier's book, Prison Writings: My Life is My Sun Dance. (Leonard was convicted of killing two FBI agents back in the 1970's, something which he says he didn't do. Lots of other people agree, including Ramsey Clark, former Attorney General of the United States and Leonard's chief counsel. And the FBI. Back in the '80's, someone in the FBI apparently remarked that they didn't have the faintest idea who killed their agents.) When I read Leonard's words, I thought, "Poor guy." Reflecting, "Maybe it's not 'Poor Leonard.' Maybe his life is what he needed to forge himself into a mighty warrior. Into himself." A spirit warrior. Only the bravest would pick Leonard's path. In the end, it is easy. We become warriors and push toward who we are, or we get lost in the sea of the world. Triviality. The mall. Wine tasting. Buying stuff. We blunt our passion, our flame, until all we are is mush. *** Recall Robert Mirabal's song, "Hunting Party," back in Taos Tales. Do you think those guys blundered off across foreign territory, rode up to a herd of buffalo, got off their horses, approached a bull buffalo and said, "We're here! You can lie down and die now!" That's crazy. Yet we do that with evil. We walk into hostile, dangerous situations with no knowledge of the territory or the foe. Sometimes we carry a big chip on one or both shoulders and enter swinging. Then we wonder why we get blown away? And we do the same thing again and again. Animals are smarter than that! Managing evil, living with evil, requires a warrior. A spirit warrior. A hunter of spirit. Any warrior knows the way to defeat an enemy is to know him very, very well. A hunter stalks her prey, knows all its habits, how it acts & what motivates it. All of this before approaching to kill. Oh, yeah, you have to know how to kill it once you get it in position. Let's stalk evil for a while.
THE NATURE OF EVIL: Do you know how people hurt others? With their glasses. Yep. Glasses are the most dangerous things on earth. My meditation teacher used to say, "Do you want the world to look better? Clean your glasses. With the right prescription, the world is paradise." In Taos Tales, I talked about language being a filter for reality. It's the first set of glasses we wear: The lens that shapes how we perceive what's around us. The glasses adults wear are more complicated than simple linguistic models. We have much thicker lenses by the time we're grown. These are ours alone--prescripton. Custom made for us and by us. We build our lenses based on what happens to us. On our family's craziness-- all families are crazy, just in different ways. Our glasses are shaped by how society views people of our skin color and ethnicity. A million things combine to make filters thicker than manhole covers between us and the outer world. Everyone's got his/her own pair, some more distorted than others. The way one person sees the world is different than how every other person views it. We live in separate universes. What's the problem? Some of those worlds are pretty scuzzy. People living in nasty inner worlds see through big, old, dirty glasses. The glasses show their owners' reality: Vicious, evil, ugly. But their glasses show the ugliness on the outside. In others. It's called "projection", a defense mechanism. The person doing the projecting can't say, "I'm evil. I'm so enraged that I want to kill six million people and take over the world. I'm crazy and should be locked up." The sick person can't see his own illness, so he puts it in "those people." Who look different, worship different, think different, and maybe own something he wants. That's it. Many people share the similar lousy prescriptions. Their kids' glasses are ground the same way very early. Like a disease. People with similar glasses flock together, form groups. Societies. Nations. The Third Reich. Their self evident truths are based on glasses so distorted you'd need a Roto-Rooter to clean them. And such groups often take over the world: Peacefully, as accepted social standards of racial or other discrimination. Or with war. Not only does projection take over nations, it takes over families. Families brand one kid "good", the other "bad", and treat them accordingly. Guess how they turn out? Projection operates in workplaces, shops, ranches, communities. In me and you. It's true. Everybody projects their stuff until you've gotten to the very end of the spiritual path. Projection of one's negative qualities or tendencies is always destructive. Eyes that see "us" vs. "them" are diseased. "We are all relations."
CLEANING UP THE MESS THAT'S INSIDE I did some research this morning, reading what forensic experts have to say about evil. These are psychiatrists & psychologists who study the mass murderers, the stalkers, the sociopaths to find out what makes them tick-- and help avoid more school murders, workplace murders, and the general mayhem we find everywhere. Want to know the results of my investigation? THE EXPERTS SAY THAT THERE ARE NO "GOOD" AND "BAD" PEOPLE. People who do horrible things are not so different inside from those who don't. We all have an inner swamp with nasty parts we don't want to stir up. Two main differences exist between those who commit atrocities and those who don't: Creativity and willingness to look at one's evil. (That's right. Your own, not the other guy's.) Creativity first. Most people deal with their destructive impulses, their daemon, by adaptive behavior. Go hit some balls, play a little B-ball. Work out. Chop wood. Run. Write, sculpt, paint or act. Talk to a friend. Therapist. Minister. Take a trip. To Lourdes. Chimayo. You know, we adapt. Control those vicious urges. We might have dreams about doing it, but we don't do it. Killers do it. Willingness to look at one's own evil. Ah! The people who do the atrocities don't look inside. They don't know about their glasses. Don't know about their cruel streak. Their hatred. Their urge to hurt, lash out, destroy. What they see out there is real to them. Such people never admit their inner state had anything to do with what they did. I have a friend was both a Clinical Psychologist and a Public Defense Attorney. Her first client as a Public Defender got caught in the act of murdering someone-- brutally. He was a terrifying person. Had to be chained to the table in the courtroom, he was so violent. He swore he was innocent. My friend says that's the first sign a sociopath. Everyone on death row claims innocence, was framed, or has special circumstances that absolve him. This produces a Catch 22 for those who are accused of crime, but are innocent. The guilty claim to be innocent and aren't. The truly innocent sound the same as the guilty. (That's what evidence is for.) Robert Sinclair, M.D., a forensic psychiatrist, quotes the Bible, John 8:32: "And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free." He says that putting the light of understanding and insight on our "dark side" is the only solution to evil. Denial of inner evil traps us into repeating destructive behaviors. It's denial of the evil within that results in sick people acting on their impulses. "Darkness will come. Give it to me so I can become stronger in the light." "No one can live with only the good. In order to understand the purest of the purest, we must accept holding hands with things that are not so pure," Robert Mirabal from "Taos Tales." Robert says it pretty well, doesn't he? It's not just "darkness will come". It lives here. In your own, and my own, head. Under our skin. Is that close enough, Robert? "Give it to me so that I can become stronger in the light." Give me outer darkness, yes,and let me focus my awareness on my inner mess. My inner darkness. Give me knowledge of my inner darkness so that I can become stronger in my inner light. You got it, baby! "To understand the purest... we must accept holding hands with things that are not so pure..." Hey. That's nothing. How about sharing a brain? Dark and light in the same skull. And it's for life, unless you can get a fast pass through the human journey. Me and my darkness, forever, sharing the same cerebral cortex. SNOW WHITE AND HER EVIL TWIN. Dark and light are different sides of the same coin. One of my old counseling professors used to say, "Snow White and the Wicked Witch are the same person." The person who thinks she is totally good, wondrously pure, completely innocent-- Snow White-- sees none of her darkness. Snow White becomes the Wicked Witch if she's crossed. After all, she's totally good, so anyone in her way must be totally bad? Right? And you can do whatever you want to a bad person...Right? We've all seen people like that. I sure have. The more cut off Snowy becomes from her darkness, the darker witch she is when mad. Evil. Glasses. You gotta look inside with them, too. Truly good people aren't interested in how they look to the world or even in being good. They just do their thing. Was Mother Theresa interested in looking pure? Acting holy? Making a fashion statement? No. She just did what she did.
HOW TO DEAL WITH EVIL: A CHECK LIST Okay, none of us want to end up the year 2000 version of Jack the Ripper. And we sure don't want to be his victim. Many of us (me included) are dealing with very difficult, painful situations which are evil. Which can kill. What do do about it? Here's my list of things to do or keep in mind when facing evil. These come close to sounding like religion, which is very dangerous. Religions move people to kill each other more than anything I can think of, except maybe race. But-- if you're facing evil, you need to get the the deepest levels of reality. You gotta have more than a string of platitudes and a big smile. So put this in whatever terms fit for you. I hope they're useful. WHEN YOU'RE FACING EVIL, REMEMBER: 1. SOMETHING LARGER THAN GOOD & EVIL EXISTS AND IS IN CHARGE. As the Taos Mountain is bigger and more permanent than the human ants below, something so vast and intelligent that we can't even fathom it runs our universe. It is in control. The trick is remembering this when the devil is chasing you. 2. LOVE IS THE ANSWER-- Love is prior to good and evil. Love exists as an infinite, boiling ocean, the foundation of the created world. Everyone & thing comes from this explosion. Discovering/experiencing this source and becoming a conduit for it is our purpose in this world. Remembering love in the presence of evil is the key. "In a world of strangers and hostilities, we have survived through sharing and participating in the "all wholeness" of the world." Mirabal, "Friends". 3. IF YOU "GET" 1 & 2, THE "LARGER THING" MAY SHOW UP IN YOUR LIFE AS PROTECTION, INSIGHT, YOU NAME IT. It's called "grace". Supremely free, bowing to nothing, grace goes where it will. This is what will save you from evil. Trust it. Do everything you can to get it to like you. That means: Do your work on the path. Grace likes people who live and think right. 4. EMBRACE EVERYTHING-- INCLUDING EVIL. As Robert Mirabal dedicates Taos Tales to all the people of the Taos valley, embrace evil along with good, and everything else. Evil is part of the whole. Don't try to run from it, but be aware that it's purpose is to destroy you in any way possible. Respect it. Protect yourself from it. Stay safe. "No one can live only with the good. In order to understand the purest of the purest, we must accept holding hands with things that are not so pure." Mirabal 5. BECOME A SPIRIT WARRIOR. Master the witness/observer state or the warrior or hunter: Stalk evil as your prey or enemy. Watch, observe, study, learn. Be able to outline the players, the game, the stakes, the process that evil uses when manifesting in your life. Know your triggers, your danger points-- and everyone else's in your "game". Be smart. 6. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. To support 1 through 5, you have to go into training. This involves your entire life: Pick a spiritual practice and path that works for you and stick to it. Live a lifestyle that makes you strong, personally and physically. Give up all addictions. Keep good company: Hang out with people who strengthen you & support your growth. Seek the company of holy and true teachers. Being a spirit warrior requires more discipline than being a Marine. Truly. 7. USE EVERYTHING. If you are confronted by evil personally or as a group, you must use every resource you have available to combat it. Work together, strategize, learn. Evil is a deadly game. Evil has destroyed civilizations in the past. It ain't changed recently. If your community faces it, you have to work together.
PERSONAL TIPS: To avoid your own evil, know how it looks, acts and is. Be aware of the pitfalls: 1. WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ON A MISSION FROM GOD, IT'S PROBABLY FROM EVIL. In my experience, those who do evil do not know they're doing it. They are right and just. Totally blameless. Good. Their belief systems are the only correct ones. The greater the evil, the greater the unconsciousness. Sociopaths, marauders, and conquerors typically grab onto a higher authority, often poor ol' God, as justification for doing what they want-- Rape, mayhem , murder. Any time you have overwhelming negative feelings toward someone else-- Hatred. The desire to kill. The feeling that he/she is completely wrong-- know that you are dangerous. In that state, you are part of evil. This includes self righteousness over anything-- Your pet cause, political candidate, most sacred, wonderful thing. Anytime you feel like they're bad and you're good, you, Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin and the fun guys of the Spanish Inquisition have something in common. That little glimmer of awareness is all you'll get. 2.. EVIL AS PUNCTUATION: Did you know world wars are a matter of punctuation? "He did X to me, so I did Y back. It's his fault. He started it." "That's not true. First, he did Y to me, so I did X back." "No, you were first." It's all a matter of where the periods and commas go. Where you're standing. "I'm justified. I'm the good guy." "No. I'm the good guy. I'm justified." Blam! Blow his head off. Blam! Blow up his city! Ker-wham! Nuke the mountain. We can destroy mountains, you know. We have the power. We could blow up every sacred thing on the planet, if we don't learn control. It doesn't matter who started it! It has to stop! At home, at work, everywhere. 3. SINCE WE HUMAN BEINGS HAVE SO MUCH TROUBLE TELLING RIGHT FROM WRONG, HAVE A LIST OF "THINGS NEVER TO DO", AND FOLLOW IT ALWAYS. I find the 10 Commandments work great. Other traditions have their lists. The point is to really make these rules yours. Never break them. Can you imagine the settlement of the United States had the settlers actually followed the 10 Commandments?
CAN WE SAVE THE WORLD? Robert Mirabal wrote a song, "Onate", about the Spanish conqueror, Don Juan de Onate, who took over the Taos Pueblo and many other Pueblos and annihilated the lifestyles, and many times the lives, of the people there. He destroyed "the pueblo culture, their way of life, their spirit, and their children. We learn from his mistakes-- but have we really learned?" from the Taos Tales jacket. Have we learned, indeed? The headlines don't show it. Attrocities in Chechnya as Russia tries to take it back. India and Pakistan squaring off to take nuclear swings at each other. Murders, massacres everywhere. Continuing social inequities, gangs. Drugs. (Sept. 11, need I add. And the murder of more innocents because of it.) Can we learn? Can we save the world? It doesn't look like it, either in evidence or in the philosophical underpinnings of our cultures. Many of the world's great philosophical systems present a negative view about the world's salvation potential. One emphasizes that salvation is for the individual, the world will always be what it is. Another system says that none of us can be saved until the world becomes heaven on earth. So far, not much progress. Another system says the world's sole function is to spur people forward on the path, to spur individuals to search for enlightenment. If something changes in one part of the world, the opposite will occur somewhere else. Nothing ever changes. What I like more than anything is fixing things. That was my function in my family, and that's what I like to do. Bright, happy optimism. Scrub it up and make it clean. You can fix it if you try hard enough. When I read the headlines, I want to run out and eliminate homelessness, gangs, violence, the drug problem, and world hunger. Also wars. Genocide, racism. Hate crimes. I can't. Even if I got a bunch of friends together and we worked our hardest for a long time, I don't think we could. Here's a story: Back in the 1970's, a group of well meaning, smart, energetic people came together. Someone had an idea, "What if we all got together and ended world hunger?" Hunger is not something we have to have in the world. There's sufficient food for everyone. The problem is that the food isn't where the hungry people are. How to get the food to where it's needed? Well, these bright and idealistic people thought, "We can do it if we all work together." And why not? Our society puts people on the moon and tootles around Saturn and makes microchips you can barely see that do incredible things. We should surely be able to get some commodities to Africa. Spread things around. The very nice people even thought of a name for their efforts, "The Hunger Project: An Idea Whose Time Has Come." Pretty snappy. They decided that 20 years would be enough to end world hunger. I wished them well. It's been more than 20 years. The Hunger Project has come and gone. We still have hunger. What happened? I suspect that the good intentions of the volunteers ran into the world. The world where some would pocket donated food and sell it. Where corruption is more powerful than the needs of starving babies. Where hatred seems more important than hunger. The Project failed. We didn't end world hunger, even though we can put rockets and satellites all over space. Can we save the world? No. (P.S. Forgot something. Even though there's little evidence that we can change the world, our happiness depends upon living as if we can. Only a life dedicated to serving others will produce true happiness. Every spiritual tradition I know says some variant of this. A life dedicated to ego gratification, amassing "toys" and seeking social status cannot produce happiness. Such a life will eventually destroy the one living it.)
WILL THE WORLD CHANGE? Very different question. Here's another story. I'm a member of the Valley Blueprint, which is a committee of about 60 people in the Santa Ynez Valley representing a spectrum of the local population. We're commissioned by the Community Environmental Council, reporting to the County Board of Supervisors. Our mission is to write a plan for the future of our beautiful valley. Like the Taos Valley, Santa Ynez Valley is impacted by all sorts of forces which would change its rural nature. We've got about 6 subcommittees to the Valley Blueprint, studying everything from government, to infrastructure, schools, parks and recreation. To Economic Vitality, the subcommittee I'm on. We've spent a lot of time on our job, and will generate a document which will be used by the Board of Sups in drafting ordinances. It's been a real exercise in democracy. One of the guys on our subcommittee, and indeed, he's on most of the subcommittees, is from the Chumash tribe. He's been gone recently, in Sacramento meeting with the Governor about Indian gaming. The gaming issue is big and complicated. I'm just going to write a couple of sentences about it. After many legal adventures, the California gaming tribes have been meeting with the Governor, negotiating compacts with the state to permit their operations to continue. These signed pacts will go to the voters soon for ratification. Okay, our Chumash member came back to our subcommittee at the last meeting. He was warmly welcomed. He spent much of the meeting updating us on what he'd been doing and the ins and outs of politics in California. What emerged was a fascinating insider's view of the Indian gaming issue. I remember thinking, "Those guys (the Indians) are really smart." They have PR types, attorneys, the works. Our committee memeber was very sophisticated in his analysis and presentation to us. The Tribes are approaching the problem using everything at their disposal. And its working. Our group was fascinated, glad to have our friend back, and fully behind our local tribe in its efforts to self sufficiency. Everyone on the subcommittee had already signed an initiative petition for an amendment to the State Constitution which would have been necessary had satisfactory compacts not been obtained. We'll all vote in favor of ratification of the compacts at the next election, as will most of the people on the Valley Blueprint, I expect. Are we a bunch of raving liberals? No way. Not only that, California's gaming tribes have the overwhelming support of the California citizenry. They probably could have gotten an initiative passed at the last election which would have amended the State Constitution and eliminated this last go round, but they underestimated public support. An article in the most recent Los Angeles Magazine discussed the Indian gaming issue from the point of view of non-Indian casinos-- which are losing revenue like crazy. The article indignantly asked, "Are we willing to give a minority of 33,000 people a legal monopoly on an industry in a state of 32 million?" I hadn't thought of that. It's what the law will do, if passed. I thought, "Sure. That's fine. It's dharmic. (Righteous)" I think most voters feel that way. We'll see. If this passes, our valley's Chumash Indians could be among its wealthiest citizens in a few years. Does the world change? Think about it: In 1860, or even 1899-- just one hundred years ago-- would any group of prominent California citizens listen to an Indian speak in a public meeting about anything? Would they be enthralled, impressed, totally on his side? Would they be 100% behind the local tribe? Voting for them in public elections? Would the tribe be using PR guys, lawyers, and skilled negotiators-- many of them from their own people? No. Back in the 1860's, from what I've read, the prominent land owners were more likely to be out shooting the local Indians and congratulating themselves over it. If they weren't, it was because someone else already did it. Around here not so long ago, the reservation was a blot on the Valley. And what about the state? In 1899, would the voters approve an Indian gaming initiative overwhelmingly-- which California voters did, even if the State Supreme Court through it out? Never. DOES THE WORLD CHANGE? YOU BET IT DOES! Even more than that, I change. I got on the Valley Blueprint because Kendall Jackson Winery bulldozed over 800 two to three hundred year old oak trees, many of them rare species, in full view of commuters on US 101 a couple of years ago. This is symtomatic of what's happening around here. (See Oaks and Vineyards.) I was so angry I couldn't see straight. I got political. I got on the Valley Blueprint. Well, guess what. Vintners are on the Committee. And agricultural types! Farmers! Ranchers! A few times, I've had a hard time keeping from walking out when they were speaking. But I stayed. And listened. I ended up feeling compassion for many of them. Not the vintners so much, but the ranchers and farmers. That's a rough life. I found myself agreeing with some of their ideas more than the environmentalists. More practical. Reality based. This is change. DOES THE WORLD CHANGE? ABSOLUTELY. MIRACULOUSLY. EVEN ME. CAN WE CHANGE THE WORLD? NO, BUT SOMETHING DOES.
GRACE: AMAZING You ever heard Aretha Franklin sing "Amazing Grace?" She does it on an old CD of hers from the '70's. Incredible. Her voice soars. If you don't feel grace when she's done with you, you'll have to go a few rounds with evil. You can't talk about evil without talking about grace. Because grace exists everywhere, especially where there's evil. I'm going to talk about Leonard Peltier in a while, but I'm going to back into it with a story. Most people see someone who looks like me and think, "She's never had a problem in her life. She doesn't know a thing about suffering." Ah. Not so. Life is never what it seems. I have had extremely difficult things happen to me. Which I will not talk about here. (And certainly not for free. You'll have to buy my books, when they're out.) About 5 years ago was a rough time for me. Like now. Evil was poppin' in my life. I needed all my strength to stay focused and pointed forward. I decided to go a retreat with my meditation group. Meditation is a very powerful spiritual practice, cutting to the core. I've experienced my own death twice in mediation, for example. A flash forward rather than back. The retreat was a miracle for me. I got all sorts of realizations, break throughs. Understandings. Love reached into my guts and rearranged them. I was cleaned up, but the wounds were still absolutely raw. Not even scabbed over. In our group, whenever we can help each other, we do. One way is by sharing our experiences. If someone else is going through the same thing, it can help to hear another person's resolution of a similar problem. Well, I got a bunch of insights and decided I'd talk to one of the people walking around collecting people's experiences to share with others. I picked an old time meditator, and we started to talk. I talked about my experience, what had happened to me, and the realizations I'd had at the retreat. Very intense. Emotional. He sat there, listening, focused. Getting all of it. When I was done, he thanked me for sharing what I had, but said he didn't think they could use it. It was too raw. And, "I don't think most people could handle it...." Because, as I said, what happened to me was very extreme. The man was very compassionate. Finally he said, "You know you chose it. You chose your life...." Rage exploded inside me. I wanted to kill him. I was in serious danger of doing great evil right there. I am a meditator, so I kept myself in strict control. My thoughts, however, went to, "YOU *^%$#@@!!!! Who the #%$#%$ do you think you are? What kind of an idiot would choose what I just told you! What kind of dumbkoff would pick that??? Do you know how I felt!!?? What I've gone through?? You @#$%&!" I was mad for about 2 years. (Never let it be said that meditators are pacifists.) And I thought about what he said really a lot. The reincarnation angle: was he saying I deserved what happened? Had it coming? Asked for it? That's what perpetrators say. Was I Joseph Stalin in a previous life to get what I got? Huh? Huh? Two years ago, I had a series of revelations in meditation that gave me the answer. Yeah, I chose this life, for reasons very different than I thought. Nothing about punishment or retribution or being stupid. Coming here into the circumstances I chose was a choice made out of love. I came to stop something that had been going on a long, long time. I didn't know all of what I'd get, but I knew enough. I chose this life. I have to tell the truth. "You chose your life" wasn't all my meditation buddy said five years ago. He also said, "Sometimes, the bravest warriors choose a path like yours. They can complete the journey in one lifetime. It's not for most people, but sometimes the strongest ones will pick a life of sacrifice."
I've been reading Leonard Peltier's Prison Writings: My Life Is My Sun Dance. I couldn't help be think of what that meditation guy said to me as Leonard described his journey. Because Leonard's in the hot seat. You don't have to buy the notion that we come here to do a job and we choose the life that will let us do it. Not at all. But I couldn't help thinking about Leonard that way. Who would have the guts to put himself in Leonard Peltier's shoes? What kind of a warrior would chose that karma? But your karma is also who you are. A characteristic of spiritual life is grace. When a warrior is in a pure state, grace can come (if it wants). One of the clearest examples of grace I can point to is Leonard Peltier's description of his escape from the Jumping Bull compound in 1975. Several hundred heavily armed FBI agents, local law men, GOONs (Guardians of the Oglala Nation), SWAT teams, Bureau of Indian Affairs police, and vigilantes surrounded Peltier and several dozen people on the property. They escaped, bullets flying over their heads, through roadblocks and check points. Only one person was killed in a rain of gunfire. They should have all been dead. Peltier tells of an eagle landing in a tree when they were cornered and exhausted. It made its piercing cry and took off again, flying in the only direction to freedom. They followed it to a drainpipe under the road-- and escaped through it. It does sound miraculous. This apparently was one of the biggest manhunts in history. Yet they escaped. To other adventures. Peltier attributes it to the recently revived Ghost Dance and his religion. Grace will come when you need it, sometimes. Grace isn't something that can be purchased or arranged to occur at a given time or place. It comes when it wants, like an eagle. I hope it arranges to get Leonard out of jail. It's been long enough. I happened to think-- We couldn't make world hunger go away. The time hadn't come. But maybe the time has come for Leonard to be released. Maybe people of good will can make that happen. Maybe the animosity can leave, and peace can prevail. Maybe even forgiveness, all the way around. Maybe love.
Here's another example of the working of grace. Not as dramatic as Leonard Peltier's, but it seemed pretty amazing at the time. (This is true, from my life.) I was sitting around with a few friends recently. We were in a situation which includes evil. Lots of other things, love, forgiveness and so on, but major evil as well. This situation has been going on as long as I can remember, and probably several hundred or thousand years before that. We were just chitchatting, shooting the breeze. [Translation: The engineers for the Russian nuclear plant at Cherynobl were sitting around the control room. Red lights were flashing and alarms were sounding, indicating extreme danger. The engineers sat around, pretending nothing was wrong. They had been ignoring the situation for 3,578 years. Give or take.] Out of the blue, someone said something, then asked a question. He/she looked at us, challenging us. [Translation: The captain of the other team took out a briefcase and opened it. Inside was dynamite, wired to explode. The captain asked "The Question" and sat, leering, finger over the detonator. If we gave the wrong answer, he/she would set off the dynamite. The nuclear plant would blow up -- destroying the world.] I sat there, totally triggered. Feeling primal pain. Rage. Desire to kill. I knew the wrong answer would cause a disaster. Thoughts flapped around in my skull like rabid bats. I was silent, not out of wisdom, but because I couldn't figure out which bat to let out first. As I slowly opened my mouth to speak... WHAM!!! My meditation teacher's face appeared to me, jammed about 2" in front of my eyeballs. She didn't really look mad. More intensely focused and vigilant. The words SHUT UP echoed through my head, louder than any rock band. The bats --the incredibly true and absolutely wrong things I wanted to say-- fluttered between the letters. My meditation teacher's eyes bored into mine. She grabbed me on the bridge of my nose. Felt like an eagle's beak and claws piercing me: It hurt. The SHUT UP just kept resonating. I shut. Total silence. "Well, don't you have anything to say?" Someone said one perfectly timed, kind, jovial sentence. Perfect. The confrontation collapsed like a popped balloon. The room returned to peace and tranquility. Everything was fine. As the crisis passed, my teacher's face faded from my mind. I was left with wonder. My nose still hurt. That's how grace manifests in my life. Direct, immediate impact on the situation at hand. No frills. No unnecessary codling. Just get the job done and get out. Evil was thwarted and peace prevailed. No sweat.
That's it. Thank you so much for reading all this way with me. I hope it was useful. Best wishes,
Have you heard about The Gathering? Mohican/German musician, artist and speaker, Bill Miller, leads a Native American spiritual retreat in Tennessee's Cherokee National Forest. It's a festival of spirit, music and fellowship in a beautiful setting. You're invited! Want more by Sandy Nathan? Check out her new book:
If you like these articles, you'll love my books. Click above and be transported to new worlds. Sometimes
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