BUYING
ON eBay 2:
ON-LINE
CREDIT, FEEDBACK, HANDLING DISPUTES &
(ALMOST) EVERYTHING ELSE YOU NEED TO KNOW
SMALL
NATIVE AMERICAN SQUASH BLOSSOM NECKLACE
Sterling
Silver& Turquoise
Sold on eBay:
coincenter.com
DEAR
READERS,
This
article completes our discussion of Buying on eBay. The first
Buying article covered Negotiation Theory and Handling Sniping.
This one contains a grab bag of topics I wish I'd known about
before venturing into the ocean of on-line auctions. The article
might be subtitled: Passion on the Net. One
generally thinks of the sex sites as producing the heat on the
Web. Not so, as we saw from Buying 1. The eBay community generates
its own volcanos. eBaysians form a culture, just like any other
large, semi-tribal group. Issues and unspoken rules about buying
and selling practices abound. These aren't marked-- you find
them when you're in "a situation". This article presents
hot buttons I blundered into and what you should know to buy
successfully.
No
theory, I promise.
Well,
almost no theory...
Enjoy.
Sandy
Nathan
NATARAJ:
"THE DANCING SHIVA"
In Hinduism, the
Nataraj represents the dance of life, the play in which we are
a part.
Sold
on eBay by
turquoise.
DIRECTORY
TO THIS ARTICLE:
KRISHNA
PLAYING A FLUTE
A FINE WOOD CARVING OF THE HINDU DEITY
Sold
on eBay by:
INFORMATION,
PLEASE...
I
repeat the resource list presented in Buying 1 here. You'll
need references just as much for this article. Click on the
titles below and our Bookstore
will take you them on the Amazon.com site. (Or the eBay site,
or eBay Magazine's web site.) I recommend checking the reviews
written by other readers on Amazon before plunking down your
plastic. Use your Back button to return. (100% of our rebates
from Amazon go to a worthy charity. You might want to bookmark
our Bookstore and use it as your normal access to Amazon.)
THE
eBay WEBSITE: eBay provides a great, complete, absolutely
up to the minute guide to itself on its own pages. Log on
and start reading. Check out the Help Pages, Ask eBay, Buying
and Selling. Services. All the Guides. Even the Bid Sections
of each auction provide wonderful information. The site evolves
every day-- see below. Some Amazon reviewers of the books
below said, "Why do you need books? The site does it
all." It does, and it doesn't. When I have a question,
I like a hard copy I can hold in my hand without waiting for
it to load. I want something I can take away from my computer
and read. Still, eBay's Help and Service people are hard to
beat.
eBay
MAGAZINE: Another way of getting up to the minute
info on eBay and its community. I enjoy this Magazine and
subscribe. Fun & informative. Great stories about eBayers.
THE
OFFICIAL eBay GUIDE To Buying, Selling, And Collecting Just
about Anything, Laura
Fisher Kaiser & Michael Kaiser, with an introduction by
Pierre Omidyar, Founder and Chairman of eBay Inc. I expect
official guides to be public relations pap, avoiding
issues. This one isn't. Discusses sniping, for instance. In
his Introduction, eBay Founder Omidyar talks about fighting
snipers to get his wife's wedding present --on the 'Bay, of
course! Tons of really helpful info about the site, searching,
lots of stuff I didn't find elsewhere. Great stories about
eBayers!I Handicapped people able to make a living, people
marrying as a result of eBay. Heart warming & useful.
eBay
THE SMART WAY: Selling, Buying, and Profiting on the Web's
#1 Auction Site, Joseph T. Sinclair. "The completely
unauthorized guide to eBay auctions". I inhaled this
book. I like it because of its management orientation (published
by the American Management Association), its clear and complete
guide to beating sniping, and it's great common sense. I
found Sinclair's anti-sniping techniques more useful than
what is presented in the Official eBay guide. Sinclair
shows you how to do everything, AND includes HTML templates
so you can put up good looking auctions by yourself! Some
info is dated: eBay currently forbids advertising objects
not related to your auction on your ad page, for instance.
EVERYTHING ON THE WEB CHANGES FAST. ALWAYS CHECK WITH
eBay OR ANY AUCTION SITE FOR LATEST REGS BEFORE POSTING AN
AD!
eBay
FOR DUMMIES, Roland Woerner, Stephanie Becker, Marsha
Colier. Published with the authorization and assistance
of eBay. I like this guide very much. It covers almost
everything-- doesn't talk about sniping, for instance-- but
it gives you everything you need to buy or sell successfully.
Covers pre and post sale stuff-- right down to how to pack
your sold items. Gives a good run-down on the auction assistant
services and programs. Everything. Clearly and simply.
Not for dummies. For neophytes
.
Here's a link to Amazon.com
for additional shopping.
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MAGNIFICENT
OLD SILVER, MOTHER OF PEARL, AND TURQUOISE SQUASH BLOSSOM NECKLACE
Offered
on eBay
by
worlds.
PRODUCTS
When
I first started buying on eBay, I found myself in our local
chat room. It's a real, physical room where people chat with
their bodies present: Greg and Theresa Duer's video store, Grand
Tales in Los Olivos, CA. (Renting videos from Greg and Theresa
is reason to move to Los Olivos, though please don't, because
we already have enough people.) At any rate, the whole town
congregates at Grand Tales and talks while waiting to
check out-- one of the virtues of small town living. You also
get to talk to Greg and Theresa. I mentioned that I was getting
into eBay to Greg. Said I was having fun. Someone piped up from
the rear of the line, "Have you actually gotten
anything from eBay?" No. I was still getting sniped
3 or 4 times at day at that point. The guy continued, "Well
I've gotten stuff and it was junk. Nothing like the pictures."
Humm.
I told him about my love for Native American jewelry and eBay's
great prices. He said, "Why don't you just take a trip
to Arizona and buy it there? From Indians." Someone else
piped up with, "My friend got a necklace from eBay. It
was supposed to be silver and turquoise, but it was garbage
from K-Mart." I heard tales elsewhere of people buying
fakes, trying to return them and get their money back, only
to discover that the seller-- whom they knew only through an
e-mail address--- had vanished. Along with the e-mail location.
Humm. Not too encouraging.
STERLING
SILVER AND RUSSIAN MALACHITE RING
Sold
on eBay
by: lilycottage
I've
bought a lot now, and haven't had this experience. Most of the
things I've purchased have been terrific. I've gotten an array
of wonderful gifts for people at unbeatable prices. I've ended
up a few things that were less than I expected, and I've been
able to return them or negotiate something fair with the seller--
even when they didn't ordinarily take returns. (More about this
later.)
And
I've bought a couple of things that turned out to be well-photographed
junk.
Do
I feel angry about this? I did when I opened the boxes, but
when I reviewed my own behavior and my emails with the seller,
I simmered down. (Yes, always e-mail the seller with questions
before bidding. This is smart.) In one case, I told
the seller how to test for sterling silver and real turquoise.
They did the tests and reported the results: The piece failed
on both counts. I bid for it anyway-- blindness, stupidity or
lust, who knows? The photo looked good. In the flesh, the thing
looked far worse than its photo. (Make you wonder about the
Playboy bunnies?) Did I fuss? No, it was so cheap, it wasn't
worth it. Nor was it really worth the seller bothering to list
it. Did I get stuck? Not by the seller, I stuck myself.
Can
people deliberately delude you? Sure. The really nice seller
who sold me The Object-- the first thing I bought on eBay which
I talk about in Buying
1-- told of receiving something that looked nothing
like the auction pictures. When he complained, his seller
wouldn't give him a refund. My friend gave him negative feedback,
and was slammed by it in return. So, yeah, you can get burned.
You can pay a lot for nothing.
Caveat
emptor: buyer beware. It's written all over the eBay site.
Still,
I think eBay is remarkably clear of fraud, given the volume
of sales. I read an article that only recently did eBay add
an attorney and investigator for fraudulent practices-- it hadn't
been necessary for years, even with the millions and millions
of sales. One reason for that is the people of eBay, which we
will discuss down below.
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NAJA OF TURQUOISE & SILVER SQUASH BLOSSOM
NECKLACE
Sold
on eBay by: cr33p420
PROTECT
YOURSELF WITH A FEW SIMPLE PRACTICES:
Read
the item description carefully. Most
likely the seller has answered your questions on the ad. If
you are still confused, e-mail the seller and ask before
bidding. Ask if it's sterling or plate. If it's original.
For more pictures. About return policies. Sellers have sent
me tons of photos, better descriptions. Dimensions. Everything.
My experience at this stage has been 100% positive. ASK BEFORE
YOU BID! When I bought The Object, it clearly said, "Looks
like...", not "is". I deluded myself into thinking
I was getting something fantastic for the price. My own greed
tripped me up. Ditto when the piece of junk (i.e.., "costume
jewelry")-- the seller told me it failed both tests. Be
responsible for your end.
Do
your homework!
Know what the value of an object is on the open market before
you bid. Many people tell stories of things being sold on eBay
for far more than they could have been purchased at local stores.
This is true. So is the reverse. My story about The Object is
a typical story of getting swept away by the glory of bidding.
Know what you could buy things for via catalogue, discount warehouse,
plain old retailer. Also-- know what things are likely to go
for on eBay. The thousands of auctions I looked at when most
enthralled by eBay did more than waste my time. I was also gathering
data about what things go for on eBay. eBay is a river--
thousands and thousands of objects come on every day. Don't
pay a premium for something you fall in love with when something
as good or better is likely to come up soon.
Keep
a ruler, tape measure and notebook handy to your computer.
If you see something you like, do a little mock up. A scale
drawing. I've gotten two things that were clearly described
as to size, and when I got them, I was bowled over. One was
way bigger than I thought, the other, way smaller. I ended up
liking both, though it was dicey at first. Here's one:
MY
OLD PAWN CORAL & TURQUOISE RING
Shown
actual size. On a finger, this is big.
I
liked how this old pawn ring looked in the picture. I bought
it. The description of the ring clearly stated it was 2-3/4"
long. I somehow didn't get that. It's huge. The ring covers
my finger from the knuckle almost to the first joint: 2/3 of
the finger. It fits only on my pointer finger. I love it-- now.
Wearing feels rather like being royalty-- this giant jeweled
pointer thing. I imagine myself in my royal chambers, surrounded
by courtiers and knaves, peasants and slaves. "You!"
I say, pointing with my ringed finger, "You may
live!" Turning, "And you, over there... You
die!" "You, trying to hide behind the pillar,
go find and despoil a new continent for me. Name it Sandraland!"
"And you" a final dramatic gesture,
"You, go get me a pastrami on rye."
That
ring's as close to being royalty as I'll ever get.
Remember:
If you bought it, someone else probably will. You can always
throw things back on eBay if you don't like them. You'll have
to master the eBay sale page and a bit of html. But if I did,
so can you.
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NATIVE AMERICAN MADE SILVER AND TURQUOISE CLUSTER
BRACELET
Sold on eBay by: morningsinger
FOLLOW
THEM LINKS:
Most
of the big eBay sellers have links from their auction pages
to their web sites-- which can be on-line stores. Treasure these.
Bookmark them. After going through a few auctions, you may find
contacting the seller and having them look for something for
you for is easier than slugging it out in an auction. Lots of
the on-line stores have better stuff than what they put on the
auctions. The merchants use the auctions as ways to move old
stuff, and stuff that didn't sell. The good stuff may be on
their website.
Or
what you really want might be. I was looking for a particular
necklace. A seller had something similar up for auction. I e-mailed
her a description of what I wanted. She e-mailed a picture back.
Voila! Exactly what I wanted and no hassle with bidding. Her
price was fair. No fear of snipers, no waiting to know if
the goodie is yours! Just BUY IT!
The
links from auction pages to web sites are just the beginning.
Your own brain will also set up links. Like this: my mother
died while I was writing this series. I found myself the owner
of a number of furs-- my mom's-- that I would never wear. I
didn't know what to do with them. I logged onto eBay to find
out what they were worth. Not much. It was really depressing,
knowing what she paid for them. But I started reading the ads.
It turns out that many old furs are being turned into teddy
bears! "You can wear this or turn it into a bear,"
the ads said.
A
teddy bear made from one of mom's 1950's mink marvels? I could
get behind that! Hey! I did my research right on line, from
the eBay auction site. I typed "mink bears" into the
search box and found maybe ten people who made bears. In two
days, I found, contacted, and "interviewed" a number
of sellers who make teddies (or whatever animal you want, I
imagine) from your fur. I shipped off my furs and a couple of
weeks later got:
ISN'T
THIS THE CUTEST BEAR YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
This
bear was made from my mom's old fur by Pat Piotrowski, who makes
arguably the cutest bears in the universe. Pat
sells on eBay and at shows.
What a lovely remembrance of my mother-- thanks, Pat!
That's
just the beginning. The lining of Mom's stole had her name embroidered
on it. Pat made bow ties from the lining, with my mother's name
showing on one tie. I had to take it off-- seeing Mom's name
made me cry. But what a lovely thing to have.
PAT
ALSO MADE THIS LITTLE CUTIE FOR ME:
A
GIFT FOR MY DAUGHTER'S 18TH BIRTHDAY FROM HER GRANDMOTHER'S
OLD MINK HATS.
If
that doesn't make you teary eyed, it sure does me.
Made by Pat Piotrowski of
Pat's Crafts. Thanks again, Pat!
What
are you looking for? Your own nimble brain and eBay's merchants
may create it for you. The possibilities are limitless.
AUTHOR SANDY NATHAN IS THE WINNER OF 8 NATIONAL AWARDS!
SANDY NATHAN
Click to go to sandynathan.com
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"OPERA
RING" TURQUOISE AND SILVER
Rings
like these are seen at the Santa Fe Opera.
Sold on eBay by chimneybutte
CONSIDER
THE SELLER
While
we're talking about contacting sellers, think about something
else. What it's like to be a seller. For an in depth,
almost-like-it-was-you-doing-it rundown, read Selling
on eBay, the following article in this series. When
you have seen what it takes to list something and follow the
sale through, you will think twice before e-mailing a seller
after a sale and asking them to sell you Aunt Bessie's trousseau
at a ridiculous price, less than Bessie paid in 1932. Or saying,
"Gee, I got carried away bidding, do you mind if I back
out?" Or, "I don't have time to get a cashier's check.
I know you don't take personal checks, but won't you, please...
Just this once...." Read the section on selling. Better
yet, sell something. You'll see what it's like. Knowing what
it's like from the seller's point of view will help immeasurably
in handling problems-- as discussed below.
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GETTING
IT HOME IS HALF THE FUN!
The
underside of our old ranch truck. Not pretty, but it gets the
job done.
THE
SHIPPING NEWS
Every
once in a while, you'll run into a controversy on eBay that
will leave you scratching your head. Shipping charges are one
such area. They're a hot issue at this writing. Why?
Consider
this: The other day I won an auction for $3.00. The seller's
acknowledgment asked me for $9.00. Nine bucks!! She charged
$6.00 to ship something that I know cost $1.50 to mail first
class???!!! I had to pay three times what I bid to get the thing
home???? Or face Negative Feedback!? What an outrage!!!!
Not
really. The seller clearly stated her shipping policies on her
auction ad. I knew what the charge was when I bid. (I was in
a buying frenzy. I would have bought it if I had to drive to
her house to pick it up.) And-- the item's total price
was a reasonable $9.00. (I may have buying jags, but I'm not
crazy!) I would have felt very differently had she not
posted her shipping and handling policy clearly on her ad. Plus
the item arrived practically instantly, via 2-3 Day Preferred
mail, which I know cost at least $4.05. (Advantage of selling,
too. You know shipping costs.) So I didn't feel bad about the
shipping charge.
But
some people do. They scream.
I
bought some earrings from another seller for $4.00. Not bad
for a pair of 10K gold cubic zirconium earrings. The shipping
charge was $4.50. More than the earrings cost! (These puppies
would cost less than a buck to ship, uninsured.) Was I upset?
No. $8.95 for a snazzy pair of gold earrings delivered to my
door is a deal! Also-- the seller clearly stated his shipping
charge on the ad, saying that his beginning bids were less than
wholesale and he covered his costs by a fixed shipping charge.
That seemed pretty clear to me.
When
I got the seller's auction acknowledgment and bill, it started
with a full page apology for his shipping costs. He had
to charge what he did because he set his opening prices so low.
He had a business to run. He clearly stated his policies on
his ads. He'd been subjected to a barrage of Negative Feedback
about his shipping charges. Someone had organized an e-mail
campaign bashing him all over eBay. If anyone didn't want their
auction winning, if they somehow hadn't seen his clear notice
of shipping charges on the auction page, they could get out
of the auction for two bucks. He'd give no Negative Feedback.
He was just trying to make a living. And so on.
I
thought this was interesting, because I've sold, too, and know
what a pain it is to put those little items in boxes, address
them and sent them off. I know all the paperwork and how crazy
it makes you. (See Selling on
eBay) I wrote the seller a sympathetic e-mail, and made
a friend for life.
NAJA OF VINTAGE SILVER AND TURQUOISE SQUASH BLOSSOM
NECKLACE
This
necklace is made of old US coins with this stunning naja.
Sold on
eBay by: bernresn
This
brings up the issue of cost-- an economic
issue, and something I know a bit about, having been a research
economist and having a couple of degrees in the field. (See
The Economics of Auctions.).
Buyers who have trouble with rather high, fixed shipping charges
feel that the cost of shipping should be what shipping costs.
What
does shipping cost? Postage? Plus the cost of the box, if
it's not free? Plus some amount for the time needed to box the
trinket and get it to the Post Office? Or to hire someone or
a service to do it? What about costs of doing business that
aren't captured by the final bid? What if the bid doesn't cover
the direct wholesale cost of the good? Or if it covers that,
but the total goods sold don't cover the business' indirect
costs? You know: heat, light, insurance, rent on the place of
business? Manager's salary? Something for the owner? What if
the seller is actually a business, not somebody's let's sell
a bit out of my home deal where overhead is low? Whoa. What
postage costs looks very different. A seller has to cover these
direct and indirect costs of doing business if he/she is going
to stay in business. Period.
Sellers
have to make enough to make doing the business worthwhile. That
includes a reasonable profit. I don't object to fixed shipping
charges when: (1) The shipping charge is clearly stated on the
auction ad. (2) The total cost of the deal is reasonable. (3)
The object arrives in good order in a reasonable time and it's
not junk.
I mind when the object isn't worth anything, no matter what
the postage is.
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GOOD PHOTOS PRODUCE GOOD SALES
I don't know that this is the best
sales photo in the world, but as a photo, I sure
like it.
I sold this ring and bracelet set on eBay.
(vilasa)
THE
CREDIT LINKS:
DO WE HAVE TO ASK IF YOU WANT TO USE YOUR CREDIT
CARD?
SIGN UP HERE AND USE THOSE PUPPIES ON LINE!
Many
sellers accept only cashier's checks or money orders. This is
safest for the seller, though it limits his/her market. Others
accept everything, from personal checks to subway tokens, including
credit cards. Notice what the seller accepts before you bid.
It's written somewhere on the auction ad, maybe several times.
Credit
cards are safest for the buyer: If the merchandise doesn't arrive,
or if it's damaged or you hate it, you have some leverage through
your credit card company. Credit card fraud is a problem on
line, but according to what I've read, sellers rather
than buyers are ripped off more often. Still, a credit
card purchase may give you some protection against an unscrupulous
seller.
Use
of credit allows you to "go for" what you want and
vastly increases your spending power. It equally vastly increases
the amount of damage you can do to any financial plans you've
got. See Addiction Issues
& Financial
Recovery. What you do is up to you. Throughout most
of my buying, I loved to use my credit card.
Several
companies offer on-line credit: eBay has it's own financing,
BillPoint. There are on-line banks. I ended up joining both
PayPal and BillPoint.
AUTHOR SANDY NATHAN IS THE WINNER OF 8 NATIONAL AWARDS!
SANDY NATHAN
Click to go to sandynathan.com
PayPal
is a division of Xcom, the largest on-line bank. PayPal offers
an individual account which is a free to use and join, perfect
for the casual eBayer. They also offer a merchant account which
offers additional services to sellers for a modest fee. PayPal
takes money from my credit card and puts it in a seller's account.
People can also pay me via PayPal using their Visa or
MasterCard, even though I don't have credit card processing
facilities. And I can send money to anyone with an e-mail address,
anywhere, as long as they are a PayPal member. I've used the
service extensively and love it. No more going to the bank to
get checks or deposit them! No more waiting for checks to clear!
The only problem I've had with PayPal result from my
mistyping someone's e-mail address when I'm sending them money.
The money ends up floating in cyber space until either the seller
or I realize something's wrong. I've never lost money due to
this.
I
also joined BillPoint, eBay's own credit system. It's extremely
easy to use: You can pay through the auction's page after an
auction. You're billed automatically via e-mail. The seller
pays a small fee to use the service.
Both
of these services provide some protection for the buyer with
a spending problem: Both allow a transfer of a maximum of
$2,000 from a credit card per six months. That's not too big
a dent in your budget, most likely. Unless you sign up for both.
Then you can rack up $4,000 in charges. And there are other
credit providers-- you could keep signing up for more services.
To spend more...
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TURQUOISE,
CORAL AND SILVER OLD PAWN PENDANT
Sold on eBay by:
THE
PEOPLE OF eBay
eBay
bases its organization on values. I state the eBay values in
the Economics section, I'll restate them here: (These come from
the eBay site)
1.
We believe people are basically good.
2.
We believe everyone has something to contribute.
3.
We believe that an honest, open environment can bring out the
best in people.
4.
We recognize and respect everyone as a unique individual.
5.
We encourage you to treat others the way you want to be treated.
I have a couple of friends who are big name business consultants
who report that corporate values have been the thing
in academic and professional management development circles
in recent years. Researchers have found that all organizations
are run on some set of values. Positive, person orientated
values, such as eBay's, if they are lived, permeate the
organization, becoming the core of its success. The trick is,
the corporate values have to be real, and actually lived
by the people in the organization, from the top down. I think
eBay is a great example of a values driven corporation. Every
contact with them has reinforced this opinion. And I've worked
their Help and Ask eBay sections hard.
Whether
eBay's values just let people be who they really are or because
of some special alchemy, people on eBay seem to be nicer than
most. I noticed it right away. Sellers I'd come into contact
with were really helpful and friendly. Of course, they were
trying to sell me something. But it was more than that-- A few
months ago, I had more surgery connected with the cancer I had
last year. I told a couple of sellers that I would be out of
town when the auction ended-- and why-- and that if they couldn't
get a hold of me, I'd be back. I had people praying for me!
Perfect strangers praying and wishing me well. It was genuine,
not fake. Heart warming. I've had lovely experiences-- just
around silly little e-mails about stuff-- that I will
remember kindly the rest of my life. eBay's is an amazing culture.
Quite wonderful to discover. Breathtaking to the student of
organizations in my soul. (I spent maybe 18 years working part
time for a professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business,
in addition to my studies and work in Economics. I love great
organizations!)
All
that gooey stuff aside, the mental health distribution inside
eBay is probably is probably about the same as outside. Most
likely better, methinks. But still, in eBay, as in the world,
there is a small probability that the person on the other side
of the transaction is a raving lunatic. Or, if you don't like
that word, someone with highly individualized thought patterns,
peculiar modes of expression and socially unacceptable, idiosyncratic
behavior who scares you. If you meet one of these people, you
will not forget it. I certainly won't. An interesting thing:
You won't see these people in ordinary retail sales, because
they'd be fired for pulling their stuff. But on eBay, where
there are millions of free agents, behavior can get pretty raunchy.
What
to do if you run into one of these maniac? We'll talk about
that in just a while.
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DETAILS
OF A GREEN TURQUOISE SET OFFERED BY lizaym
Pendant
from squash blossom necklace and bracelet. Buying 1 showed the
whole set.
I like this set so much, I had to give you a closer look.
FEEDBACK:
A
key to eBay's effective operation is the Feedback system. When
you complete a sale, both buyer and seller have the opportunity
to comment on how the deal went. You have 80 characters with
which to record you visceral reactions. The Feedback you give
and receive is stored permanently. It cannot be changed. eBay
has no requirement that anyone give anyone else Feedback, though
most people do. Nor is there any time regulation as to when
you must give Feedback. I've had it trickle in on myself
months after the sale. I've had other people get very upset
if I didn't give them mine instantly.
In
some eBay quarters, the topic of Feedback has a pseudo-religious
quality. I didn't know this when I started, so be aware. I Sinclair's
book gives good guidelines about how to give Feedback
and what's appropriate to say. When I first started with eBay,
I found it hard to give feedback. For one thing, finding where
to give feedback was hard. Now they've got the site better
marked: click on Feedback Forum and follow the directions. I
also didn't like the idea of evaluating another person, 'til
I realized it's the transaction you evaluate, not the person.
Now I have another problem with the system, in that it seems
that some people are nice sellers/buyers because of the feedback
cookie. "I've been good, now give me my treat." Like
trained poodles, rather than human beings who behave properly
because it's who they are. Nit picks.
DETAIL OF SQUASH BLOSSOM NECKLACE
Sold on eBay by: galle500
Feedback
is a pretty good, but not perfect, way of assessing a seller
or buyer. I've used it both buying and selling: when payment
or the goods were slow in coming, eBay, I've looked up the other
party's feedback rating. I've been immediately assured. My buyers
and seller's had far higher feedback ratings than me. The money
or the goods came eventually. With eBay, you deal with a collection
of individuals, not an institution like a department store.
Your idea of timely may be different than someone else's. Some
people work, have family responsibilities, physical problems
and constraints, emergencies-- they may not be able jump to
ship a package or do something instantly. And the mail can be
slow. Life is life.
The
Feedback ratings can be and are abused. eBay's rules specifically
forbid Feedback blackmail: "You do what I want or I'll
give you Negative Feedback." They forbid getting your friends
together to slam someone with Negatives. But that doesn't prevent
abuse. The wonderful guy who sold me The Object in Buying
1 told me that he had once purchased something that
looked nothing like the auction's picture when it arrived.
It was junk. He complained. The seller didn't care. Wouldn't
take it back. Make an adjustment. Nothing. So my seller filed
a Negative Feedback. And the guy who sold him the bum goods
slammed him with one worse.
When
you get into the eBay culture, you will feel how big a deal
feedback is. In the article about Selling
on eBay, I present a funny mock auction ad where a seller
threatens prospective buyers with Negative Feedback if
they don't pay! I have actually seen this-- though not as extreme
as the example. People quiver at the thought of getting
Negative Feedback! You get a minus point on your Feedback rating
(the number in parentheses behind your user name) for every
Negative Feedback you receive. eBay will throw you out if you
get an overall rating of -4. That's pretty hard unless you're
a small buyer/seller and mess up a lot at first.
Some
people have Feedback ratings in the tens of thousands. Does
that mean they'll be great to deal with? No. Think of how many
bad deals they'd have to do to get a -4 rating. You can have
a horrendous time with them, but most likely you'll get your
stuff.
What
does Feedback really tell you? If it's almost all positive,
you should be able to feel safe. Shouldn't you? Well, Sinclair
notes that most Feedback is given when the person has just gotten
the check or the goods and is flying high. Most Positive comments
sound rather intoxicated, such as: "Louie's the greatest
seller on eBay! Fabulous sale! I love my sterling toothpick
holder! Will buy again! A++++++++" You might disregard
the entry's objective content, except to note that Louie does
deliver the goods and they're nice or the person wouldn't be
so excited. (This is a made up user name, in case a real user,
Louie, is out there! Although, Louie, I'm sure you are
great!! A+++)
The
best advice I can give you as a buyer is to be objective in
your feedback, and don't give it until the deal is done. That
means you've handled any disputes to your satisfaction. You
get one feedback per deal. It's a great bargaining chip to hold
in the event of a dispute. We'll talk about this more in Handling
Disputes.
Back
to directory
DETAIL
OF STERLING SILVER NATIVE AMERICAN SQUASH WITH OLD COINS
Sold
on eBay by: rgmunn
RESERVE
PRICES:
I
was really surprised to discover the vehemence some sellers
have about reserve prices. Do you know what a reserve is? A
reserve is the lowest price a seller will take for something.
If the bidding doesn't reach the reserve, there's no sale. The
seller hopes to get more, but won't take less. The reserve is
her walkaway price, in other words.
In
an on-line auction, the seller specifies the reserve when listing
the item. It is hidden from buyers until after the auction.
The seller specifies a starting price lower than the reserve
to get the ball rolling. And it does. People bid like crazy
at the looooowww initial price. They start bidding against each
other. Decide they can't live without the goodie. Voila! They're
hooked and end up over the seller's reserve price, a price that
might have scared them off if they'd seen it at the start.
I've
seen this over and over and over: An item with a starting bid
of, say, $150, languishes and ends up unsold at auction's end.
A similar item with a starting price of $25 and a reserve ends
up sold for $200, well over its $150 reserve.
Is
this a moral problem? No it's a strategic one. The seller posting
for $150 and failing to sell is clearly missing something: how
auctions work. Also: money.
Yet
you see sellers posting NEVER A RESERVE!! on their ads
like this was a moral virtue. Why? If you're selling, you should
sell. Whatever works, within the rules.
Reserves
do pose a dilemma to buyers. How to get the goodie as close
to the reserve as possible? But what if the reserve is over
your budgeted spending that month? Why worry about it? Bid or
set your snipe for what you can afford. You won't win, but who
cares? It's just stuff.
Sometimes
buyers work together to try and sniff out a reserve, thinking
they can snatch the prize for pennies above the minimum. At
the end of an auction, Buyer 1 will throw in a very high bid,
certainly over the object's reserve. eBay's software will automatically
register the bidding at the reserve. Buyer 1 will then retract
his bid, saying he made a mistake. As Buyer 2 steps in with
a bid the object just over the reserve. The only problem with
this technique is if Buyer 1 uses it more than once, he'll get
bounced off eBay pronto. And other buyers may have better, faster
snipes set.
The
other problem is: why get involved in this scummy mess anyway?
It's just stuff.
Back
to directory
DRAMATIC STERLING AND TURQUOISE BRACELET
Sold
on eBay by morningsinger
HANDLING
DISPUTES
Wouldn't
it be wonderful if we could float on a cloud, arm in arm, going,
"Love! Love! Love! Love!"? That would be so nice.
Unfortunately, it's impossible. Why? Because the 6 or 7 billion
"points of light" on this planet wear different glasses.
We see the world through different lenses, all of us. What's
truth to one of us is a lie to others. Because of our perceptual
differences, we humans live in separate universes. Conflict
is inevitable.
Throw
in greed, lust, competition, and money-- the on-line auction
scene-- and conflict is inevitable RIGHT AWAY!!
The problem is not trying to eliminate conflict and problems,
but to manage them effectively. All of the resources in Information
Please..., present good techniques for handling disputes.
eBay offers its wonderful Safe Harbor, a mediation service,
and its great Ask eBay team. The writers in Information
Please... give perceptive pointers. If you find yourself
in a dispute, which is pretty likely if you're bidding much,
inhale these techniques. Make them part of your personal repertoire.
Part of your life.
I've
handled a few problems while participating in eBay-- resolving
all of them to my satisfaction. I've been very effective--
and couldn't really point to any reason. "I don't do anything..."
I thought as I started to write this section. But I had
one of those "ahah!" experiences, "I wonder if
my success has anything to do with working for Richard Pascale?"
(I mentioned in Buying 1
that I worked for the professor who taught Negotiation and Intervention
at the Graduate School of Business at Stanford University for
many years.) Uh. Yeah. I've internalized what I learned and
use it every day without thinking. Plus I've taught communication,
assertiveness, and conflict resolution techniques. I've got
a Master's Degree in Counseling. And I've worked pretty hard
on my spiritual/personal growth. While I don't consider myself
the most effective person in the world by any means, I do know
a few things:
TO
BECOME EFFECTIVE AT HANDLING DISPUTES, BECOME EFFECTIVE AS A
PERSON. GROW YOURSELF.
I present
the heart of what I do in a conflict situation below: these
are my secrets. Try them.
Handling
a conflict is a negotiation: it involves use of personal skills
and power to attain a goal. Jump over to Buying
1 and check out Negotiation
Theory-- the principles of negotiation apply to conflicts.
What I use when a conflict arises isn't something I think about
or a set of techniques I put on. It's a frame of mind-- where
I'm coming from. A context.
My
measure of success is my own satisfaction. I keep going
until I feel satisfied. There's kind of a "clunk"
internally when I hit that goal. In an auction, satisfaction
means I got something I want for something near its value to
me. Or I learn something that changes me and how I value the
object/situation. Either way: I'm happy. How to get to satisfaction?
I HAVE
A TWO PRONGED SWORD I USE IN CONFLICT SITUATIONS. THE PRONGS
ARE: (1) DHARMA AND (2) COMING FROM MY HEART. THEY ARE EQUALLY
IMPORTANT.
(1)
"IN DHARMA THERE IS VICTORY." That's a
quote from an ancient Indian text, the Rig Veda. Dharma.
I've used this word before on this site. What does it mean?
Righteousness. In righteousness there is victory. An absolutely
true statement. Righteousness conveys enormous personal power.
Dharma
is not
self righteousness or a sense of superiority. Dharma
is not the slightest bit puffed up, nor does it thrive on
putting others down. Being dharmic means living in conformity
with the law and one's personal values. It's also known as
integrity. In an on-line auction, being dharmic means operating
within eBay's rules, the laws governing auctions in your state,
your personal codes of conduct regarding money and truthfulness.
And more: dharma means operating in harmony with the entire
Universe. It's a tall order, righteousness.
Being
dharmic in an auction implies you're following the principles
of Financial Recovery,
not overspending time or money, buying things you don't need,
short changing other areas of your life, or getting swept
away by lust. Being dharmic implies you've read the
auction page, and know the seller's payment and return policies,
that you've bothered to check the measurements presented in
the ad to assure they'll work for you. You've done your homework.
Dharma is about being who you are, not any outer goal. If
you're in a dharmic state, you'll know it. Contentment is
it's chief sign, along with a quiet sense of power. You get
the job done. You mean what you say.
2.
IN DEALING WITH A PROBLEM, I COME FROM MY HEART. What
kind of New Age gobbledygook is that? I come from my heart.
Sounds hokey, but it's the other key to conflict resolution.
Also a good life. Getting to one's heart is the hardest thing
a human being can do. It requires getting out of your mind and
its concepts: I'm right and you're wrong. You dirty scum bag,
look what you did to me. You did it on purpose. The good guys
always lose. Strike first lest thou be struck. Projection. Blame.
Threats. Distortion. A whole bag. Your bag. My bag. The human
bag.
Another
way of "coming from the heart": "I see the
other person as the same as me," the Dalai Lama said
something like that. If you realize that the other is a human
being like yourself, and your commonality is undoubtedly greater
than your differences, you have what you need to negotiate.
Getting a deal is based on understanding, compassion and love.
Not the gooey greeting card kind of love-- the brilliant,
powerful love of the righteous heart.
You can
take every negotiation course, communication skills class,
assertiveness or conflict resolution training in the world
and never be able to resolve a thing. Your underlying attitude
is the key. Do you want satisfaction, or do you want to beat
someone up?
NAJA
OF OLD PAWN TURQUOISE AND SILVER SQUASH BLOSSOM NECKLACE
Sold
on eBay by:
WHAT
I DO: THE ACTION ITEMS
- The
best way to handle a conflict is to prevent it. Do your
homework on the object. Follow all the negotiating tips shown
in Buying
1. Is the problem worth your time in trying to fix
it?
- If
you find yourself in a conflict, check yourself first.
Are you dharmic? Do you have a legitimate beef, or are you
trying to sleaze out of something? Get out of something to
buy something else? Cheat? Were you greedy and now regret
it? If so, how powerful can you be?
- If
you have a real beef, what solution will satisfy you?
What do you want? Write this down.
- Formulate
a message to send to the seller, using all your skills.
More homework to start right now: Take that Communication
Skills Course. The Conflict Resolution Course. The Assertiveness
training. They have them all over: city rec. departments.
High school night classes. Junior colleges. Everywhere. Get
skills. Read what the Resources say about conflict resolution.
Get ahold of eBay on your problem. Do your homework in skills
before you send the seller that e-mail.
- Know
the law.
Good to know. I'm not sure what auction law is. I asked my
father in law, an attorney, about how the law pertains to
on-line auctions and he said, "I dunno." In regular
auctions in California 15 years ago, I know "what you
bid on and win is what you get". Unless you didn't see
the defect before you bought it-- then you can get out of
the sale, maybe (also from my old experience). On-line? Seems
to have to do with whether the object was described accurately.
Any attorneys who read this, e-mail
me with info and I'll post it.
- When
you send the seller that e-mail, remember: You do not know
the seller's situation. In many cases, you will be buying
from a private party. You don't know what's going on on the
other end of the line. There may be illness in the family,
a death. That miserable rag you bought may be beloved Aunt
Mable's sable, which is being sold because the seller needs
the money. An underpaid, overworked worker may receive your
message. Or a business owner who's working himself to death
and making close to nothing. Read Selling
on eBay. Send a neutral message, and be prepared to
listen.
- Work
a deal. Once you've sent your message, be prepared to
negotiate. The seller may have some feelings about what you've
said. Hear them in your heart and respond from there. This
is where you skillfully use every technique you've got. Good
manners and kindness being the greatest. Anger begets more
anger.
- Listen
well. This is the most important human skill in my book.
I know a person who healed me in 20 seconds just by listening
to me. She didn't even say anything: her compassionate
eyes took in every aspect of my being. I have never felt so
understood in my life. Healing with a look-- that's true listening.
Get the seller's point of view. You don't have to agree with
it, but understand it. This can dissolve the conflict. Understand
that legitimate differences exist in what is "good but
used" condition and other descriptive words.
- The
most important element of Assertiveness Training:
Don't go away. If you state your case, and the seller says,
"Forget it," come back with your case again. "I
know you said, "Blah, blah." I still feel......
I want....." Don't go away. Keep restating. You don't
have to get mad. You don't have to escalate. "Thank you
very much, I want.... If you don't have the power to resolve
this, may I speak to your supervisor...." "Thank
you very much, I want..." Hang in there.
- State
consequences: If
you can't come to an agreement, state your next step. "Since
we can't reach an agreement, I have no choice but to:"
You'll have to research the options. State what you intend
to do: Negative Feedback. Tell eBay. The police. The attorney
general. Hire attorney if the amount warrants it.
- Act
on your statement, knowing
you may lose. No guarantees in this world. You may be
slammed with a Negative Feedback. Have no case. Spend money
for nothing. But you'll have stood up for yourself and acted
decently.
- One
last bit: This process only works with normal people.
Sorry. On-line auctions can lead to addiction-- either in
yourself or the seller. (See Addiction
Issues.) If things get out of hand on either end,
know that an addiction or plain old insanity may be present.
We'll talk about this in a section below.
ABUSE/CRAZIES
What
do you do if you find yourself "across the table"
from someone who is a real nut? What if nothing indicated this
beforehand? I certainly wouldn't buy from the guy who threatened
me in his auction ad. . But what if there's no indicator? What
if there's overwhelmingly positive Feedback? What if you're
scared stiff, you've never experienced anything like it in your
life and don't know what to do?
This
happened to me. After months of happy experience buying on eBay,
I bought something from a very large seller whose feedback was
overwhelmingly positive. I paid promptly. The deal was done.
My mother in law was in very very ill at this time, dying, as
it turned out. I slipped up on one detail of the process-- I
didn't post feedback instantly. I received an e-mail from the
seller that curled my socks. Sarcastic. Nasty. Horrible. I fired
off a response, saying what was going on in our family and that
I would get to it when I could. I got back an e-mail worse than
the first: Arrogant, nasty. It included elements of stalking
me on eBay, distorted eBay's rules and threatened me. It scared
me silly. My husband, the arbiter of sanity in our family, read
it and said, "S/he's a lunatic." I was still terrified.
I'd never been treated like that in a business situation in
my life.
I
went to eBay's Safe Harbor. There wasn't much they could do,
but their response was so supportive. They set me straight
as to what their rules were, and gave me some pointers for action.
I followed up on these. I had a thought, "People like this
have done their trip before. Let's take a look." So I went
into the person's Feedback and looked up all their Negative
Feedbacks. I contacted the people who posted the Negatives and
heard what happened to them. The seller had done the
same thing to them. It fit a pattern. The other individuals
has the same feelings I had. This let me know it wasn't me.
I still had to deal with the situation, which I did.
You
will not get satisfaction from someone who is truly nuts.
People always expect sane behavior from crazy people and get
upset when it doesn't happen. This is nuts. The definition
of insanity precludes a sane response. You can follow legal
remedies. You can "post feedback" privately, sending
an e-mail describing your feelings to the other person. "When
you _____, I felt____" is the form. The "delete"
button on your e-mail server also works. As does blocking messages
through your e-mail provider.
This
very scary experience could have resulted in me quitting eBay
entirely. It didn't because I was addicted. As I read about
on line addiction in dealing with my own, my understanding of
this incident changed. I realized the seller was probably an
addict. In the Addiction
Issues article of this series, I identify five points
in buying and five in selling which can become addictive. Thwarting
an addict at any of these points can result in an extreme response.
Inappropriate, explosive reactions are likely to be an indicator
of illness needing treatment. That doesn't mean that such an
experience isn't dangerous or scary, but it puts it in a different
frame.
Be
careful. Caveat emptor. The buyer beware. For yourself, as well
as others.
Back
to directory
TURQUOISE
AND SILVER JEWELRY SET
Sold
on eBay by
kolly
GUIDELINES
FOR ENLIGHTENED BUYING:
1.
You do not need the silver chicken, or anything else
you can get on eBay. You need
air, water, food, clothing, shelter and, especially, to give
and receive love. All things you get in the real world, not
on-line.
2.
If you get the silver chicken, you will get bored with
it and want something more/better/different soon. Probably
right away.
3.
Also, something YOU LIKE BETTER will come on the instant the
chicken is yours. Really.
4.
Or else it won't, and you will pine for the lost object forever.
As I still
pine for a crocheted satin shawl I saw in Bogota, Colombia,
in 1975. The loss will corrode in your memory until you loose
something even more spectacular. And you still won't forget
it. The shawl was lovely. Taupe. Silky. Long fringes. Money
isn't everything.
4.
Don't buy anything you wouldn't give as a gift. Once
you actually get the goodie, you may discover you don't want,
need, or like it. There's always Christmas.
5.
The worst experiences are the most growth producing, if you
live.
6.
Also, doing hardest thing is probably the best course of action.
7.
Disciplined auction participation is an incredible opportunity
to grow personally. Set
spending budgets and stick to them. If you get sniped, don't
whine or blow up. It's an auction, not a promised sale. Evaluate
how much you are willing to spend on auctions monthly. Is this
the best way your money can be spent? Do you have charities
you love that could use the money more? If you must spend
on an auction, why not look at some of the charity auctions?
What about collecting? Does collecting stuff-- dead objects--
serve your soul? Can you take it with you? What's the best use
of your time on earth?
Just
some questions for the readers and writer of this article to
ponder. We'll talk about Addiction
Issues later.
Back
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ANTIQUE
CORAL AND SILVER AMULET NECKLACE
Sold
on eBay by shamala
ere to hear Sandy Nathan speak about her new book on Fascinating Authors!
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